my friend emily d. just shared this beautiful story with me and i feel it is my duty to pass it along to all of you good people...okay. brace yourself. the events of this story are all true. i'm not exaggerating any of it. promise.
so last weekend emily's friend {a 28 year old male} was set up on a blind date. with a girl. he plans to pick her up, grab a quick bite to eat and then take her on the heber creeper. it's a train that people ride for fun here in utah.
everything's going according to plan until...driving from the food place to the train station he starts to feel ill. inside himself. his stomach is not right and it's getting worse as the drive continues. he thinks to himself "okay as soon as we get to the train station i can use the restroom and i'll be fine."
get to the train station. buy the tickets. realizes the bathroom is closed for some reason. he decides that if he can just quietly {excuse the descriptive term} fart, he'll feel much better. well that turns out to be a bad decision. rill bad. cause yep, you guessed it, now he's pooped his pants. literally, like he needs an outfit change.
suddenly in a panick {and sweating bullets} he sees there's a gift shop. so he takes the girl in there, buys her a little gift and grabs a pair of shorts for himself using the excuse "it's really hot. so i think i'm going to buy these and change into them on the train."
now they are on the train. he excuses himself to go use the mini-airplane-size lavatory. he gets in there, immediately takes off his poopy pants and underwear then anxiously tries to shove them in the trash. which of course in that size bathroom there's no way that a pair of men's jeans and underwear are going to fit in there. so he decides to throw them out the window. after this he grabs the bag from the gift shop to pull out his new shorts only to discover that he had accidently bought a little girl's sized sweater!!
he doesn't know what the heck he's gonna do. he just threw his pants and underwear out the friggin' window! then he starts crying. for real. and hard. trying to figure out what the heck he's going to do...
the only solution he can think of is to jump out the window himself. of a moving train! which he does. and then he runs a mile back to his car. past all the people buying tickets at the station. naked. {he decided to take off his shirt too. no sense in running with just a t-shirt on right?}.
he gets in his car and drives home. leaving his date on the heber creeper. the end.
i knew you'd like it. :)
