blessing day

steve had the chance to give naomi a blessing at church on sunday.
he did such a beautiful job. it made me reflect on how much i love this baby of mine. and how she will grow up way too fast and what great friends i hope we can become. steve also reminded me of the two great women she is named after. naomi for her faith and righteous example in the old testament and sandra for my mom. who was also a faithful and righteous example.

okay...so this is where we get deep...ready?... lately i have been thinking of my mom a lot. for obvious reasons. having your first baby can make you do those sorts of things. of course, i think about how i wish she could be here to help me know what in the world i am doing. but really its not even that. because i have so many wonderful "mother" examples that can help me with that. {and do!} but i guess there is just something about that fact that i am a mom now that makes me want my mom even more. i feel like now i finally really understand her love for me. because i feel that love for my daughter. i always kind of thought that i was the one that got the rotten end of the deal. but now... i can't imagine what she must have gone through, knowing that she was going to die and leave her little girl behind. knowing that she would not be there to see her grow up...
now i think about if i was in her position. i think that would be worse. i bet all you moms out there would agree with me on that one.

on a lighter note, i have also been thinking about all the "real" memories i have of her. its hard to know which ones are real and which ones are ones i've been told or imagined, since i was only 7 when she died. however, there is one specific memory that keeps replaying in my mind...every night before i went to sleep my mom would kneel by the side of her bed and say her personal nighttime prayer. i would kneel beside her with my arms folded and my eyes closed. i never heard her say anything but i would just kneel there next to her and peek out every few seconds to see when she was done. it always took a few peeks because she said long prayers. especially long to a little girl like me.
and then when she was done she would climb into bed, turn on her lamp and read her scriptures. i would crawl into bed and snuggle up beside her and while she read to herself she would always have one hand reaching behind her holding my hand. and that is how i fell asleep every night.

thinking about that makes me wonder what memories i want naomi to have with me. if that memory of my mom is one of the only "real" memories i have with her, i couldn't ask for a better one. even as a little girl i knew what was important to her. her faith and me.

now that i have a little girl of my own i hope that i can be that kind of example to her.

baby straight jacket

oh naomi, what a strong and determined little child you are already proving to be.
our sweet girl begins all her naps and nighttime sleep like this. swaddled up like a baby burrito. {recently we have graduated her to leaving one arm out}

but no matter how tightly she is bundled she loves to wriggle herself free.
and shortly thereafter, she wakes herself up. thus nap time usually lasts about 20 minutes. {sigh}

i was reading this post on a blog of a mom who can relate... it made me laugh so hard.

2 months today

baby girl is two months old now and i am loving the smiles she's starting to give me! i feel like she has grown up so much in the last month. she seems to be calming down a bit - less crying time, more alert, quiet time - thank goodness.

i'll be honest, those first several weeks were rough with the reflux, and the nursing, and the not sleeping and the fussiness in general. but we have figured some stuff out and things are looking up for us. yay! now we are starting to venture out into the big wide world instead of living in our little home-cave day after day. the sun is good for us. and rumbi too...poor thing.

we can't wait for even warmer days ahead!

claudia, our fave

last week we got to go back and visit our midwife, claudia. she is the one who helped deliver our little bundle of joy. and seriously, she is the best thing that ever happened to us. i could not have gone through that last 5 hours without her.
3 cheers for midwifery!

{isn't that a funny word "midwifery"? sounds like something from the world of harry potter}

but yes, i highly recommend midwives to any and all women having babies. we called her as soon as we thought "this might be the day." and when we got to the hospital she arrived not too long after, once i was dilated to a 5. then she stayed with me the WHOLE time. and for anyone who wants to give birth naturally i feel like that is a must. it helped me so much to have her there sitting by the bathtub talking to me, coaching me on how to handle the contractions, and just giving me that positive energy. and then when i was pushing for 3 flippin' hours. there she was helping me move around and get that baby out. but the best part was that she kept telling me how proud she was of me and that i was doing "great!"

and still when i just saw her, 6 weeks later, she gave me a big hug and told me again how proud she was of me. and isn't that exactly what we new moms wanna hear. "you are amazing! i am so proud of you." because.. personally, i don't think giving birth is an easy task. so go ahead, shower me was praise. i will take that any day.

mama's girl

okay, yes. i agree. naomi looks pretty much like a steve jr...

but i knew there was a baby picture of me that would show some likeness of her mama.
what do you think?

and look! 6 weeks old and starting to smile! kind of. :)