run, rock and roll

every year cassie's family participates in the run, rock and roll 5k sponsered by the brain injury association of utah. cassie's older brother, larry, was in a car accident years ago that left him with a brain injury. but he hasn't let that injury slow him down too much. he has won first place in his division {recumbant bike} for the past few years now! way to go larry! i love their family and how tight-knit they all are. very supportative of each other. it's totally inspiring. so i was pleased as punch that cass invited me to join in on the fun run.

here's me looking back at all the people i beat...okay just kidding. all these pics were taken "after the fact" but i did do pretty good. 34:57 was my time. emily crossing the finish line
cassie finishing the race. sorry cass, i know you hate this pic. but i couldn't resist. only people who love and adore you read my blog anyway. after this race i've decided 5k's are my thing. so next up, lavendar days june 28th. mona, utah. who's with me?

life with gramma

so from the ages of 8-18 i lived with my grandparents. and then moved back in after college, during my 22nd and 23rd years of life.

living with grandpa was a dream. when we {my cousins and i} were kids he'd play hide and go seek with us. he was always the seeker. one time i hid behind the velvet orange living room curtain and after an hour or so he gave up looking for me. so i came out and he named me "the best hider he'd ever played with." i loved that.

now living with gramma was a different story. she has the exact personality that drove me insane. she was interested, concerned, accommodating, kind, worried, and a questioner. sounds like the perfect grandma right? well i, especially as a teenager, just wanted to be left alone.

there were many a night when i would go to bed, the lights would be out, my door closed and then a knock, the door would open and there she was "lizzie, is there something wrong?" then sheilding my eyes from the lighted hallway, "no gramma, i'm fine. just tired." "okay dear." the door closes only to be opened again 5 minutes later {this time without a knock} "are you sure there's nothing wrong?" "yes, gramma. i just want to go to sleep." "alright dear." a few minutes later the door opens once again, i beat her to the punch and say "please, can i just go to sleep? i have to wake up in 5 hours." "yes, dear." and then one last time, for good measure... "if you ever want to talk about what's bothering you, you can." "alright. thanks gramma. goodnight." "goodnight"

one thing about gramma though, she's funny. sometimes on purpose, sometimes on accident. here are a few of my favorite examples:

• my grandpa, being a composer, had an article written about him in the newspaper when he turned 100 years old. well i came home that day and gramma had a slight cold at the time so her voice was a little raspy when she held up the paper and exclaimed "in the paper, your grandpa is." she sounded just like yoda. hehe.
  
• another time a bunch of my cousins and i were playing a card game around the kitchen table. we had the tv on and gramma was doing dishes while watching the tv when a commerical came on. i think it was for some local car dealership. anyway for some reason it had a midget dancing on a table. gramma looked up from the dishes just in time to see it and said in a very matter-of-fact tone "ha, look at that little guy."
  
• this last one just happened a few weeks ago and goes with the picture above. so my gramma starts yelling for my dad. "Richard! Richard! Richard!" he comes running into the kitchen. "What is it?!" "Someone's taken my little girl." my dad thinking she's talking about the grandkids replies "No, mom they live across the street." now with more frustration in her voice "No, my little girl that I had in this" as she holds up the lid of the utensil crate from the dishwasher {the blue thing pictured above}. then she says "Someone took my cute little girl and i want her back." well my dad confessed that he had seen the display {pictured above} and thought one of the grandkids had done that and left it on the counter so he went and retrieved the little girl out of the toy box and now gramma's display greets everyone who comes to visit.

mumzie

most of my adoring blog-followers know this already, but when i was almost 8 years old my mom passed away. i remember the day it happened, my dad called our house from the hospital. my aunt and sister ran to answer the phone. almost instantly i heard crying. actually more like loud sobs. i, in my 8-year-old mind, thought "oh no, they bonked heads trying to answer the phone so fast."

then my aunt came over to me and said "lizzie, your daddy's on the phone and he wants to talk to you." i took the phone from her hands and walked into our darkened dining room. i remember staring down at the carpet when i heard my dad's soft reassuring voice..."lizzie, its your dad. i'm at the hospital right now...mommy just passed away. she went to live with heavenly father...she loves you very much and will be watching on you from heaven...but i don't want you to worry because everything is going to be okay. i've already talked to grandma and grandpa and they said we could come and live with them."

i don't remember my exact thoughts but i understood what his words meant. i knew it meant she wouldn't be coming home.

i think the hardest part for me now {17 years later} is...i feel like i don't really know her. and that really bothers me. it bothers me to know that her college roommates or ward friends knew her better than i do. it bothers me to think my mother is somewhat of a stranger to me.

anyway sorry to get all deep but i've just been thinking about her alot and especially over the mothers day weekend. even though she's not physically in my life, i feel like she still has a presence in it. which is comforting, but at the same time seems hugely inadequate.

then again i'm sure she's not a fan of this "parenting from a distance" either.