nature v. nurture

so when i started here at WGU {in august} i bought a little green plant to brighten up my dull cube, to keep me company and well, let's be honest, to see if i could keep something alive...

every newlywed couple thinks about this. the day after you get married people start asking you "so..when are you planning to 'start' a family?" whenever i'm talking to my sister and there happens to be a short pause in the conversation she asks "are you PREGNANT?!" no, people. this is not an annoucement. what i'm trying to say is after you get married the next "big thing" you start to think about is....can i really keep something alive...like something as important as a baby?! well, of course the initial thought is "whoa! let's not get ahead of ourselves..i mean, that's a big responsibility.." then... "hmmm, how about a dog? could i take care of a dog? no, no, those have to be trained..let's start smaller..how about a plant?! yeah, i could do that. i could take care of a plant. just needs water and sunlight, right? easy."

so that's what i did. i got a plant. and here we are 5 months later and its still alive! barely.

{this is very sad because my mom, with her green thumb, happened to have the most coveted garden and flower beds in the neighborhood. i thought after all that childhood slave labor, pulling weeds, i would have inherited some of her abilities... but alas..}

now compare that to some of my co-workers plants... {oh, and apple bear..he is matthew's pet apple.}

heck, if the plant could just tell me what it wants! less water? more sun? a cuter pot? what?!

needless to say, sorry little crew, it might be awhile before you have another cousin...

camp lizzie

i just LOVED having the little dudes at my house every morning at 7:30 {ish} and playing with them all day until 4. we did so much and had great fun though i'll be the first to admit there were moments of "errrrrr" and "ahhhhhh" and according to steve, way too many "no's"....but heck!

i never said i'd be good at this.

nevertheless our week was jam-packed with laughs, smiles and big big hugs.

we played blocks in our jammies.

we went swimming everyday. even if we never dared to leave the steps.

we drew chalk pictures on steve's nice clean driveway.
we took naps. very badly needed naps.

we played hide and go seek.
we went on time-out.

we watched movies and ate popcorn.
we jumped on steve!

and we went on little walks.

we had such a blast! and then i woke up on saturday morning and realized...they aren't coming anymore...i was so sad.

i miss their little voices, their giggles, yousef's active imagination, and ammon's tight hugs.

there were so many times during the week that yousef had me rolling. he's such a silly and clever little boy...

and now i leave you with some of my favorite yousef quotes:

i told yousef, please don't touch the tv because steve likes his tv very clean with no finger prints on it. so he took his hand off quickly and said "oh, okay." a few seconds later he looked up at a picture of steve and i by the tv and said "steve's looking at me...he looks grumpy."

both ammon and yousef were sitting at the bar eating lunch and ammon wanted to get down. he couldn't because our chairs are high. so i noticed yousef give him a little push as i was trying hurrying over to help him. ammon fell to the ground but was okay. i said "yousef you can't do that to ammon, he's too little he needs an adult to help him get down, okay?" i must have sounded mad because he just looked at me and then said "you hurt my feelings." i totally started laughing and walked over to him to try and explain that i wasn't mad but i couldn't even talk i was laughing so hard. then ammon hit his head on the corner of the chair and started crying and yousef sighed and said "now what?!"

but my all-time favorite was this..."lizzie, when i have my next birthday, i'm going to marry you. and then when ammon turns 14 he can marry you too."

awww..i miss...

my posse

my very talented sister is teaching arabic classes at BYU and well since i have yet to find a job, i volunteered to watch these little dudes during the days all week long.

they call it "Camp Lizzie." i love it.

i don't know who will be more worn out by the end me or them. :)

one last time

this morning my gramma passed away.

if you remember, i've written about her on occassion {here and here}.

i saw her just yesterday. to be honest, after that visit i wanted her to go. seeing her like that made my heart hurt. we had to put her in an assisted living last month. i went and visited her every week. i am so grateful that i did that. each week her health got worse but that experience really did something to me.

kinda changed me.

so for you, my readers, {and for me} here is one last story...

this was my last actual conversation with gramma. i went to visit her at the "place." i was kinda anxious since the last time i visited, when she was awake, she was upset and just kept asking me to take her home. but this time was different. it seemed like she had accepted the fact that this was her new "place." for now.

i walk in and find her in the common area. that's usually a good sign. and she's awake. could be a bad sign...i walk up and give her a hug.

me: hi, gramma

gramma: hi, dear

me: how are you doing?

gramma: oh, okay. they brought me out here...i don't know why.

me: well i think they are getting lunch ready for everyone.

gramma: oh, how's your husband?

me: {surprised she seems to know who i am} he's good. he's at work.

gramma: you're happy?

me: yes. very happy.

gramma: good. you sure picked a good one.

me: yeah, i did.

gramma: now, who are you again?

me: lizzie. i'm richard's daughter. i'm your granddaughter.

gramma: oh, i'm sure lucky to have a granddaughter like you. to come visit me.

me: well, i come because i love you gramma.

gramma: love you too dear. now...where's my husband?

me: ummm...gramma, your husband died. two years ago.

gramma: i know, not my first husband. he died. i'm looking for my second husband.

me: gramma, you don't have a second husband.

gramma: {looking incredulous, responded with a laugh} honey, yes i do.

after about an hour of visiting i told her i had to leave.

gramma: oh no, do you really have to go? i had such a nice visit.

me: yeah, i do have to go. but i'll see you again soon, okay?

gramma: okay, dear.

me: love you, bye.

gramma: love you too.

she was stubborn, sweet, caring, persistant, witty, caring, and interested.

i'm gonna miss her.

see you again soon, gramma.

xo. lizzie

beautiful people

do you see these beauties?
i don't know why but i have been blessed with some of life's most precious gems. there's something to say about making a friend {even if you're related} and then keeping that friend for years on end. and i mean really being friends...like i know the details of their lives, their joys, their fears, their successes, their past, their present...and they know mine.

they can predict how i'm going to react, tell me when i'm overreacting and comfort me when i've lost myself.

this one's not as good, due to the wind and chill factor. {mind you this was jan. 3rd}

but there are a few dear friends of mine in this pic that are not in the first.

i feel like in life there are two different types of people. there are those people who need other people and there are those that would rather tough it out on their own. over the years i've discovered i am a little of both types...

most of the time i like to try and tough it out on my own and see how far i can get, but then i find out my dad needs open-heart surgery and for a month i keep it all in, thinking non-stop about the fact that i could literally be an orphan at age 17...so finally i break and tell katie, sobbing in the olympus highschool parking lot.

or just a few weeks ago when we put my gramma in an assisted living and she hated us. i tried to act so tough, visiting her with a smile on my face, every wednesday. but then when i go to leave she holds my hand tighter saying "no, please. please don't leave me here. let me come live with you. i'll sleep on the floor!" that's when i break. and my sweet, sweet steve gets to pick up the pieces. and watch to me cry my eyes out while he just holds my hand and listens...

so i guess when it really comes down to it...i'm the type that needs people. thanks for being my people

bubble-shoot

steve took these of joseph {jo-jo} when we were in rhode island.
talk about profesh. he's so good.
i am beaming with pride.

rhode isle

continuing on...we took a train from penn station to providence, rhode island to visit my brother
and his little family...i guess 6 kids wouldn't really be considered little would it...? i've been so lucky to be able to visit them in every state that they have lived in. i think the total is 8 {outside of utah}. notice the license plates. oregon. rhode island. maine. haha.

while we were there, we got to celebrate jess's b.day

have a water balloon fight

and play guitar hero.

steve loved teasing jo-jo, who was glued to the tv. go diego go.

our second day there we ventured out to do some grave hunting. one of my ancestors {on my dad's side} Elizabeth Tilley Howland, who came over on the mayflower, is buried in a providence cemetary.

it took some looking but we found it! i called my dad immediately. i've never heard him so excited. seriously, he loves headstones. and he LOVES that i was there, standing in front of it.
family history, i am doing it, my family history.

from the moment we got there makayla {4} was smitten with steve. can't say that i blame her. but she wasn't the only one...she instantly had him wrapped around her little finger just as tight, reading her books, jumping on the trampoline, and letting her take pictures with his camera. her favorite book the cat in the hat comes back ... and steve re-read it to her over and over and over again. so sweet.


sometimes she'd let me squeeze some special time in too. :)


we spent alot of time on the trampoline. which i loved, since i practically grew up on one. after our water balloon fight we even put the sprinkler under the tramp and i got to re-live my childhood. briefly. i so miss those hot summer days of yesteryear, jumping for hours, making up games and new impressive tricks. {sigh}



our last day we went to this amazingly huge park, the Roger Williams Park. it had a zoo, a botanical garden, a museum and lots of other stuff. at the botanical garden steve {and makayla} took some artistic pics and we got to see carnivorous plants {like the kind from little shop of horrors}. crazy.


we finished off our visit at the lake, where we were attacked by geese. fur real. okay, no one got hurt but it was seriously scary. we were surrounded and they were hissing their little faces off.
freaky freakterton.

our short visit just tuckered jo-jo right out. we had so much fun. i love those people so much.
only wish we got to play more often. thank you for having us!

can't wait to visit beautiful rhode island again soon..